Every once in a while, a realization strikes you with such unexpected force that you are actually dazed and you need time to get your bearings back. It doesn’t have to be a big realization, but its the feeling of having overlooked something so obvious for so long that takes its toll. And I just had one of those moments. I just realized, that apart from a total of some 15 people, I don’t like any person at all. Now you may consider me detached or psychotic or whatever, but that is how it is. I’m not crazy. I have reason to think this way. And I came to the other realization that I actually legitimately prefer many fictional characters to real people.
“Why may that be, you deranged sociopath?” you might ask. And to that I say: the people in my books have stuck with me and I with them. We have had a bond. I have solved unsolvable puzzles with Robert Langdon as he dodged assassins after treasured articles of history; I have fought the prejudiced society alongside Lisbeth Salander and exacted vengeance on those who wronged her; I have defeated Voldemort alongside Harry and defeated the Titans with Percy; I have rebelled against the Capitol with Katniss and I have fought the Erudite with Tris; I have destroyed the One Ring with the Fellowship and I have used the power of deduction to solve countless crimes with Sherlock Holmes. But that doesn’t matter. I have had so many adventures with these people that I know them. I know them inside out. And they are always there for me; when I need solace or comfort. They don’t judge you, they don’t ask anything in return. They just whisk you off your feet in wondrous worlds of fantasy where you can discard the normal worries of reality for a while and just dive into the problems of the character.
Don’t get me wrong, if I like someone; I like them to hell. For example, I would take a bullet for my family and my best friends and I would trust them with my life. But other people tend to just disappoint me. They tend to betray me or ignore me when I need them. As soon as I got old enough to realize this, I gave up on people. They are all the same; all of them greedy and selfish.
I wish, from the very depth of my soul, that I could meet these characters. That I could learn from them. From Hermione and Ron and Snape and Dumbledore and Peeta and Frodo and John Watson and Sam and Dean and Castiel and so many more. I could learn from them and meet them and witness love and loyalty. But alas, I am doomed and confined to this existence where I can expect nothing but disappointment from all but a few. If you are of the few, you know who you are. If you aren’t, please don’t shatter my trust in humanity yet again. Focus on what I’ve said, don’t be offended, but think. Think that if what I’ve said is true. Think and realize.